


The Keeper

by kairaindaeyo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Break Up, Car Accidents, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:15:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26474764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kairaindaeyo/pseuds/kairaindaeyo
Summary: The night is falling deeper yet Seungkwan's bachelor party is still just getting started. Amidst the wasted circle, laughing at the jokes Seokmin threw, although Hansol was chuckling under his breath, he just couldn't keep up with the others. While there were times he found himself enjoying the night, something didn't sit right in his heart.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	The Keeper

The night is falling deeper yet Seungkwan's bachelor party is still just getting started with his past members as his groomsmen aboard the yacht along the Han river. Mingyu popped the what seemed like the hundredth bottle of champagne they've had. _"Toast again to your last night as a free man!"_ Cheers were shouted as the alcohol continued to hit everyone more and more. 

Amidst the wasted circle, laughing at the jokes Seokmin threw, although Hansol was chuckling under his breath, he just couldn't keep up with the others. _"I need the bathroom, excuse me."_ He took advantage of the distracted men to reason himself away from the suffocating ‘happiness’ everyone was celebrating, knowing full well that he won't be going to the bathroom. Although there were times he found himself enjoying the night, something didn't sit right in his heart. He went up and headed to where the bathroom was just to pass by it and head straight to the deck hoping a breath of fresh air and the city's view would distract him from whatever feeling he is feeling. 

**Then**

Hansol lying on his side, with his elbow bent, hand supporting his head, stared at the sleeping Seungkwan in front of him. He brushed the bangs that covered the other's lids and smiled foolishly like a mad hopelessly in love fellow. Despite the proximity of their bodies next to each other, the possibility of losing Seungkwan someday scared him. He cupped his lover's cheeks and gently spiraled his thumbs on it. 

_"Great view huh?"_ Seungkwan opened his eyes and met the latter's that caught him off guard. 

Hansol's gums appeared as he smiled and nodded. _"I was just thinking how dreamy you are."_ Seungkwan could only laugh at the cheesy remarks his lover darted at him but he knows that's not the only thing the man was thinking. His face might have shown a little bit of distaste but his heartbeat couldn't account to that. He always loved how Hansol's words worked their ways to his emotions.

Seungkwan laid on his side, curling himself in front of his lover's broad chest and wrapped his free arm on the other's waist. _"You look troubled, what's wrong?"_ Hansol enveloped the smaller's body and pulled it even closer to him, caressing the other's back with his gentle hands. Always startled as how Seungkwan could tell every time his mind is somewhere else travelling unpleasant thoughts, his lips curled up.

Only silence and their breaths filled the place for a few seconds until the man decided to share what's in his mind to the worried latter. _"I don't like how this happiness could only be temporary."_ Seungkwan heard the evident worry in his lover's honesty. He lifted his head and searched for Hansol's eyes that met his right away. There are some things he could have said and wanted to say at the moment but nothing escaped his mouth because Hansol was not the only one of the two who thought of those things. 

When Seungkwan couldn't say anything, Hansol flashed a smile to lift the heavy mood he felt he caused and kissed the top of the speachless man's head. _"I'm sorry babe. I'll stop spouting nonsense."_ The hug felt tighter when Hansol's embrace became more firm, trying to assure his boyfriend and self that this way, maybe he could grasp the moment better so this temporary feeling might be replaced with something that will last. 

Seungkwan sat up and looked at the taken aback Hansol. He fondled both of his delicate hands on his worried lover's cheeks while the taller leaned on it as if a cat finding comfort in it's owner. _"Babe, look at me."_ Their eyes quickly caught each other, seeing the sadness and happiness that mirrored between them. 

_"You were the one who told me to live in the moment and be grateful for it. No?"_ Hansol could just nod away his toubles by hearing his lover use his words against him. _"No one knows how long this moment will last but we promised to do everything to hold on to it right?"_ Hansol forced a smile, kissing the small hands that cupped his face. 

Seungkwan leaned closer to the other's face, nose touching almost the same times as their lips did. _"I love you so much, Boo Seungkwan."_ Hansol whispered under their breaths. 

_"I know."_ , both chuckled. 

**Now**

Hansol couldn't help but to miss the moments when Seungkwan would take away his disquiets every time he felt troubled like now, but he could only wish for that tonight as he is the person who understands the most that there are no chances that it would happen anymore. 

Seungkwan roamed his sight to the almost passed out men around the table but he didn't find the person he's looking for. Jeonghan beside him nudged his arm. _"He said he needs the bathroom."_ the older whispered. The soon to be married man stationed his hands over his face and let out a small giggle, shaking his head in disbelief, thinking how easily Jeonghan saw through him. _"I can handle my liquor you know."_ The older tapped Seungkwan's shoulder and nodded, as if he's been reading the old lovers like an open book since earlier. 

_"I'm just going to check on him just in case he passed out."_ Seungkwan attempted to fool his hyung with an obvious lie knowing that out of everyone, Hansol handles liquor best. The older laughed at the excuse he was given and pretended that it was the truth. _"Tomorrow's groom, may we request more food here please!"_ With the older's excuse, Seungkwan stood up and made his way out of the cabin, grabbing two glasses of champagne as he passed by the kitchen. 

The cold night breeze greeted him as he easily spotted the only man on the deck. _"So this is the new bathroom?"_ Hansol immediately recognized the soft voice that found him. He turned around to see Seungkwan offering him one of the two glasses the man was holding. 

Smiling, the lone man grabbed the offer. _"Just taking in the city's view."_ Seungkwan returned the smile and walked up to the railings to lean forward on it. He took a sip of the drink. 

The man turned his head to his right to see Hansol with his back on the railings, hand in one pocket, also drinking from the glass. He could only think of how much finer the man beside him had become. There are many things Seungkwan wish he could've kept but Hansol is the one he regrets losing the most. _"If you keep staring at me like that, I might forget you're getting married tomorrow."_ The taller's note earned Seungkwan a chuckle. 

Hansol wished he was kidding, so did Seungkwan.

Gathering enough courage, the taller turned his head to his left and saw the eyes he longed for what felt like eternity. _"I'm happy for you... I really am."_ He really is happy for him, after all, that's everything he felt he could wish for the man he adores. 

Seungkwan thought before that hearing Hansol say he's happy for him would bring closure to his biding feelings, instead, it brought him disappointment. 

_"Thank you."_ He wanted to say more... he wanted to say _I wish you aren't happy for me_ , but just by being this close to Hansol and hoping for such things already drenches him with guilt towards the person he will exchange vows with tomorrow.

Both holding back wrong desires to run at each other's arms and turn their backs on the present, they found each other with less distance between them, skin touching one another. 

The heat of Seungkwan's body sent jitters that traveled throughout the latter's body. Just how much Hansol missed the other's warmth. 

They let each other feel their own presences, not minding the sound of the loud night. 

Contemplating whether to keep some things unsaid or not, Hansol's fingers fidgeted the glass of champagne in his hands. _"If I ask you to run away with me..."_

_"You know I would, so don't ask."_

Seungkwan choked up. He knows he would be willing to give everything up now if Hansol asked whatever he was about to. That's how much he loves him. 

Flooded with emotions, the taller man couldn't hold back the tears escaping from his eyes. _"You know, I still and will always love you right?"_

**Then**

Tears are violently running down on Hansol's face as he calls his lover's name while him and the nurses sprint towards the emergency room. 

Coming home from practice, he drifted his steering wheel urgently but Seungkwan's car flipped as he tried to avoid the car approaching fast in front of him. 

_"Sir, you're gonna have to stay here."_ The nurse halted Hansol who couldn't help but to beg the doctor to save his lover's life. His knees failed to support his body as he helplessly fell down to the ground. 

Five days of praying went by brutally for Hansol and when Seungkwan finally woke up, the hospital needed him to be transferred to the United States for successful rehabilitation. 

_"Along with other injuries, his hands were affected the most, shattered from the impact of the crash denying him the capability of performing and holding a mic again for a while."_

It broke Hansol's heart but he could only imagine how much pain Seungkwan must have felt when he found out. As much as he wanted to come with his lover to the States, for many reasons, he was not able to. 

He waited for Seungkwan's return and every day, he mailed the latter messages. He never received anything back until a year later when the man finally completed his rehabilitation. Seungkwan's arrival to back to Korea felt like nothing Hansol has ever felt before. He cried tears of joy seeing the man healthy and well and he cried tears of sorrow finding out the man's engagement to someone else. The car accident never made it to the media and to cover up the imminent one-year unexplained hiatus of Seungkwan, the company thought it was the best reason they could offer the public instead of the horrible casualty the man had to endure. 

They've always known idols aren't allowed to engage in a relationship with another idol, let alone, a group member so somehow, Hansol foresaw this happening... but not like this. The moment he met Seungkwan's eyes after a long time, he immediately felt something is still there between them... however, sacrifices and decisions had to be made. 

**Now**

_"To the married life!"_

The sound of glasses clanging, rang around the reception hall as the groom finished his toast. The jazz band continued to play and the people went back to their own businesses after the short speech of Seungkwan. 

_"Hey, why don't you greet the members? I'll just be with my friends."_ His wife whispered to him as she noticed how obvious his husband's excitement is to greet his past members. 

_"Alright love, thank you, I 'll see you later."_ He kissed her on the cheeks and walked away to find the members.

Seungkwan walked around, head turning every direction to look for a certain table and when he finally found it, he felt his chest tighten. In the table that was surrounded by 12 people, drinking and laughing, the first person his eyes landed on was the one he wanted to see the most yet, the least. Despite feeling anxious, he walked towards the people in the circle. 

Hoshi noticed the only man in velvet suit and suddenly, everyone's attention is on the now married man. _"There he goes!"_ , shouted the man. Seungkwan's smile greeted the group of men that all got up to give him each of their congratulations and with just a little bit more of hugs and regards, Seungkwan found the person he believes to be his only true love in front of him. 

Hansol flashed a sincere smile and opened his arms wide. _"Congratulations on your marriage, Seungkwan."_ He tried his best to sound happy and nothing else for the man he loves so much yet, Seungkwan found himself choked up, hearing the sadness and regret that enveloped those words. He quickly hugged the man hoping that no one would notice the emotions trying to break out of his eyes but the warmth in Seungkwan's embrace was more than enough for Hansol to understand. 

The strong yearning for each other was cut short when Seungkwan let go of the hug first. _"Thankyou, Hansol."_ He smiled, patting the taller's shoulder with his left hand and the other grasping each other's hand. 

Maybe, deep inside, Hansol didn't want to attend this wedding knowing his heart is far from prepared to see the person he promised to marry before exchange vows with someone else. No matter how much pain it brings him to be a witness of this bond, he could only wish Seungkwan happiness and keep his persisting feelings to himself even if he knows that they both know what they had before never died and never will.

The night slowly passed but it seemed too fast to the 13 men recalling the joys of the past until one of them had to leave that was not long followed by twos and threes. At the parking lot where Jeonghan, Hansol, and Seungkwan, saw the approaching ride of the eldest, they bid farewell to the man when he entered the car. The awkward atmosphere that environed the old lovers earlier slowly disappeared until there was no more.

 _"That's mine."_ Sighting Hansol's lift, he leaned to hug the married man. Seungkwan felt the words at the back of his tongue wanting to come out which he wished he told the latter earlier whom he selfishly left, with little reasoning . _"I'm sorry for leaving you like that before."_ Almost whispering, he tried his best to equate his voice with his sincere feelings. He knows how much pain he inflicted on Hansol by leaving things unresolved between the two of them and he regrets how he could have fight the situation they were forced upon and run back to the man's arms, how he could have turn his back on their burdens and run away together, how he only realizes these things now that everything is already too late. 

Hansol caressed the man's back, _"I'm fine."_

They broke out of the hug and Seungkwan watched the man's back enter the car. As much as he wanted to see him turn his head to meet his eyes, Hansol drove away, wishing how everything shouldn't have went wrong.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work and i decided to make it a non happy ending. I was inspired by Lang Leav’s poem, The Keeper. I hope you enjoyed and forgive me if there were mistakes in the story. I'd appreciate it if you let me know what you think :)


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